Corporal punishment
I just read ,to my great surprise, that the Supreme court in Norway has confirmed a decision making spanking your children as a form of corporal punishment illegal. The reason I'm surprised is that I thought it had been illegal for at least as long as I've been alive. I even told people this when I was in high school in France, and shocked teachers and students alike. The reason I assumed it was illegal is probably because in my family, and all my friends' families, spanking or any other form of corporal punishment was just unheard of.
Growing up I never recieved a spanking, or a slap, or any kind of physical punishment of any sort. The only time my parents ever touched me in anger, was during a very heated argument with my mother when I was fifteen. I started to walk away from her in the middle of the argument and she grabbed my arm. I froze in shock and said "You hit me" at least three times. Of course she didn't really hit me, and it didn't even hurt, but the mere fact that she grabbed my arm just... well, shocked me. I should probably confess that one of the reasons I used the words "You hit me" (albeit in Norwegian) was that I knew it would make her feel bad, and I wanted to win the argument. Definitely far from noble, but I was 15, and fighting fair wasn't foremost in my mind.
Here in France people have a much more cavalier attitude about hitting their children, whether we're talking about spanking or little slaps. I've seen people slap their kid around the head in a restaurant. I've seen people spank a child on the street more than once, and a couple of times in a grocery store. And I never get used to it. It makes me feel ill, and I always want to intercede. I have to admit I only have once though, and I was told in no uncertain terms to mind my own business. I've had discussions with friends about this, and the consensus in France seem to be that a little spanking as a child never did anyone any harm. (Spanking as an adult is a completley different matter, and most likely not really a punishment...)
I don't agree with the French attitude. Not only do I think corporal punishment can cause harm, and I don't mean the physical kind, but I also think it defeats the purpose of punishment. A punishment is meant to stop a behaviour, to make the child think, to teach a lesson. A good friend of mine told me that when her 2-year old hit her, she hit him back so he would know not to do it again. To me that argument doesn't even resemble logic.
Of course, some might say it's easy for me to say I'm against corporal punishment of any kind because I don't have any kids myself. And while that's true, I've pent a lot of time with children, even working as an au-pair. I took care of a 3-year old who had temper tantrums regularly, and even though I came close to losing my mind a few times, I never laid a hand on her. I was never even tempted to. I just hope that if I have children myself I'll be able to remember why and how much I'm against the spanking etc, even if my child lays down on the floor of the supermarket screaming, kicking and hitting because I refuse to buy him/her the biggest box of chocolates in the store. Only then will I know for sure...
(Nov 30, 2005)
Growing up I never recieved a spanking, or a slap, or any kind of physical punishment of any sort. The only time my parents ever touched me in anger, was during a very heated argument with my mother when I was fifteen. I started to walk away from her in the middle of the argument and she grabbed my arm. I froze in shock and said "You hit me" at least three times. Of course she didn't really hit me, and it didn't even hurt, but the mere fact that she grabbed my arm just... well, shocked me. I should probably confess that one of the reasons I used the words "You hit me" (albeit in Norwegian) was that I knew it would make her feel bad, and I wanted to win the argument. Definitely far from noble, but I was 15, and fighting fair wasn't foremost in my mind.
Here in France people have a much more cavalier attitude about hitting their children, whether we're talking about spanking or little slaps. I've seen people slap their kid around the head in a restaurant. I've seen people spank a child on the street more than once, and a couple of times in a grocery store. And I never get used to it. It makes me feel ill, and I always want to intercede. I have to admit I only have once though, and I was told in no uncertain terms to mind my own business. I've had discussions with friends about this, and the consensus in France seem to be that a little spanking as a child never did anyone any harm. (Spanking as an adult is a completley different matter, and most likely not really a punishment...)
I don't agree with the French attitude. Not only do I think corporal punishment can cause harm, and I don't mean the physical kind, but I also think it defeats the purpose of punishment. A punishment is meant to stop a behaviour, to make the child think, to teach a lesson. A good friend of mine told me that when her 2-year old hit her, she hit him back so he would know not to do it again. To me that argument doesn't even resemble logic.
Of course, some might say it's easy for me to say I'm against corporal punishment of any kind because I don't have any kids myself. And while that's true, I've pent a lot of time with children, even working as an au-pair. I took care of a 3-year old who had temper tantrums regularly, and even though I came close to losing my mind a few times, I never laid a hand on her. I was never even tempted to. I just hope that if I have children myself I'll be able to remember why and how much I'm against the spanking etc, even if my child lays down on the floor of the supermarket screaming, kicking and hitting because I refuse to buy him/her the biggest box of chocolates in the store. Only then will I know for sure...
(Nov 30, 2005)
posted by Annette at 7:30 PM
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