The end of a friendship
Lately certain aspects of my life have been a little perturbed. Sometimes for the better, sometimes not so much. One of the consequences of this is that I’ve indulged in quite a bit of navel-gazing, and in the process I fear I have lost a friend. Or rather I’ve come to the realisation that I may need to misplace a friend. I used to think the person in question was wonderful and quite unique, and I thought we shared a great amount of love and understanding, and appreciation for our very different characters. But over the past few months we don’t seem to communicate well. We don’t get along and our friendship seems to have become plagued by guilt-trips and arguments. Not to mention the not so subtle barbs at eachother. I’m not going to bore anyone with details, but this person has changed, or some people would say that my patience has ran out and I see now what I didn’t before.
If I were a different person I could probably just ride it out and hope that our friendship once again would become what it once was. Fun and rewarding, but I’m finding myself unable to cope with it. It has often been said that I can be overly sensitive, and that is especially true when it comes to people I care greatly for.
I read an advice column every now and again on www.tomatonation.com. It’s good, the woman writing it is full of common sense and I usually agree with her. One of the themes that seem to pop up regularly in her advice relates to the shelf-life of friendship. How some friendships aren’t meant to last forever and once a relationship has become purely destructive it’s time to move on. Not necessarily through a fight or an argument, but just to let it go. Looking back at my life so far, I find this to be true. Certain people who were great friends at one point or another have drifted away. People evolve, change, and we don’t always evolve in the same direction. Some of those people may cross my path again, and for the most part I will be delighted to see them, and who knows, some of them may even become friends again.
This is however the first time in my life where I’ve had a good look at a friendship and decided that the only way may be to end it deliberately. There is no need to keep a toxic person in your life, and that’s what has happened in this instance. I suppose it’s fitting to do this at the beginning of a new year. I wish this person the best, I just can’t deal with it anymore.
(Jan 16, 2006)
If I were a different person I could probably just ride it out and hope that our friendship once again would become what it once was. Fun and rewarding, but I’m finding myself unable to cope with it. It has often been said that I can be overly sensitive, and that is especially true when it comes to people I care greatly for.
I read an advice column every now and again on www.tomatonation.com. It’s good, the woman writing it is full of common sense and I usually agree with her. One of the themes that seem to pop up regularly in her advice relates to the shelf-life of friendship. How some friendships aren’t meant to last forever and once a relationship has become purely destructive it’s time to move on. Not necessarily through a fight or an argument, but just to let it go. Looking back at my life so far, I find this to be true. Certain people who were great friends at one point or another have drifted away. People evolve, change, and we don’t always evolve in the same direction. Some of those people may cross my path again, and for the most part I will be delighted to see them, and who knows, some of them may even become friends again.
This is however the first time in my life where I’ve had a good look at a friendship and decided that the only way may be to end it deliberately. There is no need to keep a toxic person in your life, and that’s what has happened in this instance. I suppose it’s fitting to do this at the beginning of a new year. I wish this person the best, I just can’t deal with it anymore.
(Jan 16, 2006)
posted by Annette at 7:53 PM
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