Janie's got a gun...

Ok, so my name isn’t Janie, and I don’t actually have a gun, but I did just fire one for the first time a few days ago. (and yes, I realise that song bears no real relevance to what I’m about to write about, but I’m jetlagged and lazy and can’t be bothered to look up something that has)

Let me first just state that I’ve always been emphatically against private gun ownership, and in the interest of honesty, guns have always terrified me. I once drove a 50 minute detour just to get one out of a car I was borrowing, and all that for a drive that only would have taken an hour to begin with, that’s how terrified I was of guns. Now all this begs the question, what extraordinary set of circumstances could possibly lead to me firing one?

I’ve been on a little trip to the US. (I had a wonderful time by the way, and I’m sure more on that will follow some other time) While I don’t think it’s a good idea for private gun ownership, the friend I was visiting needs one for his job, and I admit I was a little curious about it. Anyway, at some point it was decided that we should go to a shooting range. And that sentence must be an awful let-down… I’m sure you had visions of self-defense and righteous anger dancing in your heads and I’m sorry to have to disappoint.

We arrived at the shooting range and after handing over our driver’s licences, and I think my friend had to show his weapon’s permit, we were handed targets, protective eye and ear gear and off we went. My friend explained how to load the gun, how I should be standing, how to hold it, how never to point it in ‘that’ direction, always keep my finger of the trigger except when I’m firing, how to undo the safety, and how to aim. I watched him fire him quite a few times, and the ‘bang’ made me jump nearly out of my skin the first few times. It’s a lot louder than in the movies. Another thing I never knew was that the shells jumped out of the gun in the opposite direction of the bullet, or maybe not the opposite, but not with the same force and speed anyway. How come they never mention that on cop shows?

Then it was my turn. I held the gun, tried to aim at the target and fired. Much to my surprise I hit. And I kept hitting the target. I even hit the x a few times. And once I managed to stop flinching, ok, once I managed to flinch a little less, I even managed to hit several in close vicinity of eachother. And it felt pretty damn good… I’m ashamed to admit it was exhilarating and it got my adrenaline pumping. I was watching my friend while he was shooting, and while I honestly find him beyond hot all the time, the gun didn’t detract from that either. At the end of our shooting my fingers were black from gunpowder, my ears were ringing slightly in spite of the protective gear and I was feeling a little turned on. I’m going to say that was just from watching my friend though, regardless of the guns.

I’m not going to lie, I’m still as anti-guns as I ever was. They should be outlawed. There is no reason for an honest private citizen to be armed to the teeth. Automatic weapons shouldn’t be made at all, and certainly shouldn’t be available to the general public. The next time I see a gun in the wild I’m sure I’ll still avoid it like the plague, but at least I now know that if I ever had to I could pull the trigger. At least if the threat was a sheet of paper in a shooting range…

As a final thought… to those of you who have been laying sleepless at night worrying that the Michigan militia has gone out of existence and abandonned their pursuit of… I’ll have to plea ignorance here. I don’t actually know what they’re pursuing, but I’m sure if you’re losing sleep over it, you’ll know. Anyway, I’m here to put your fears to rest. I can personally attest to having seen a live member of the Michigan militia, decked out in military garb and with at least 5 or 6 different types of guns in his possession. And to me that’s a frightening sight.

(March 22, 2006)