Loss
One of my friends lost her mom on Sunday. In spite of her having been sick for a long time, it was still a shock. Although it didn’t seem like such a shock to my friend. She’s in mourning obviously, but still handling it surprisingly well. Her brother doesn’t seem to be handling it very well at all, so it’s left to her to organise the funeral and deal with all the paperwork.
I’m sitting here too many miles away wishing there was something I could do to help her, but the truth is, even if I was right next door to her, there really isn’t much anybody can do in those situations. Except let them know how sorry you are, and listen if they want to talk.
One of my worst nightmares is losing my mom. When I lost my grandparents I felt lost, and I can’t even begin to imagine how horrible it would be to lose my mom. A few years ago she was sick, and though I was worried I knew she’d be ok, and she was. And then a few years ago, my mom, her best friend and the kids (meaning my mom’s friend’s daughters and grand-daughter and my sister and me) went up to stay at a cabin in the mountains for a weekend. Walking in the snow, staying up late talking and drinking wine. Very, very late one night my mother started to choke. I panicked, lost all sense of what should be done in spite of having taken CPR classes. Luckily someone else had the instinct to do a Heimlich and saved her life. That’s the one that’s stayed with me. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life. Even know thinking about it, I tear up. Mom tried to minimalize it, saying she wouldn’t have died, but she would have. I still have nightmares where I wake up in sobs, where everything happens the same way except for a very different ending. Unfortunately my mother doesn’t seem to realise how much losing her would affect my sister and me. She still smokes, works too much, doesn’t really eat healthy. My sister and I have tried numerous tactics to get her to take care of herself, but nothing seems to stick. So we drop hints, tell her we love her and enjoy the time we do have with her.
Another friend of mine said the loss of one of our parents made her realise that we’re now at the age where this will start to happen more often. One of us losing a parent. It’s not exactly a warm thought to wrap yourself up in before going to bed. I’ve never told anyone about that incident up at the cabin. As far as I know the only people who know about it are the people who were there. I’m not sure why it turned out that way, I suppose putting word to your fears seem to make them bigger. I just hope that the day when that particular nightmare becomes real is a long, long time from now.
(Feb 21, 2006)
I’m sitting here too many miles away wishing there was something I could do to help her, but the truth is, even if I was right next door to her, there really isn’t much anybody can do in those situations. Except let them know how sorry you are, and listen if they want to talk.
One of my worst nightmares is losing my mom. When I lost my grandparents I felt lost, and I can’t even begin to imagine how horrible it would be to lose my mom. A few years ago she was sick, and though I was worried I knew she’d be ok, and she was. And then a few years ago, my mom, her best friend and the kids (meaning my mom’s friend’s daughters and grand-daughter and my sister and me) went up to stay at a cabin in the mountains for a weekend. Walking in the snow, staying up late talking and drinking wine. Very, very late one night my mother started to choke. I panicked, lost all sense of what should be done in spite of having taken CPR classes. Luckily someone else had the instinct to do a Heimlich and saved her life. That’s the one that’s stayed with me. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life. Even know thinking about it, I tear up. Mom tried to minimalize it, saying she wouldn’t have died, but she would have. I still have nightmares where I wake up in sobs, where everything happens the same way except for a very different ending. Unfortunately my mother doesn’t seem to realise how much losing her would affect my sister and me. She still smokes, works too much, doesn’t really eat healthy. My sister and I have tried numerous tactics to get her to take care of herself, but nothing seems to stick. So we drop hints, tell her we love her and enjoy the time we do have with her.
Another friend of mine said the loss of one of our parents made her realise that we’re now at the age where this will start to happen more often. One of us losing a parent. It’s not exactly a warm thought to wrap yourself up in before going to bed. I’ve never told anyone about that incident up at the cabin. As far as I know the only people who know about it are the people who were there. I’m not sure why it turned out that way, I suppose putting word to your fears seem to make them bigger. I just hope that the day when that particular nightmare becomes real is a long, long time from now.
(Feb 21, 2006)
posted by Annette at 8:15 PM
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