Bathroom bonding

Most girls have gone through the ‘bathroom by committee’ stage at some point. This phenomenon usually occurs in your pre-teens and will last well into your twenties, and in times when ample supplies of alcohol are involved, a lot longer than that. You know what I mean, you’re out with your friends, and one of the girls has to pee. But this can not be accomplished without at least a minimum of gossip, giggling and make-up re-appliance, so at least one, sometimes several, friends will go with.
Topics of discussion will range from boys via sex to other girls, to fashion disasters and bad pickup lines. The order of the day is usually not plagued by existentialism or current events (unless they’re current events occurring at the party, club etc where you are at the time)

However when you get to my age, the communal bathroom trips become a thing of the past. The only times we go together now is usually either by coincidence, or if someone is really drunk. In these cases the topics of discussion usually remain vaguely similar though.

I assumed this behaviour was fairly well-known all through the western hemisphere, but apparently in France things don’t work like that. I went to high school in a small town in France, and three of my closest friends were three other Norwegian girls. With one of them I shared dorm space, closet space and desk space in addition to all the time the four of us spent together outside of school. We hung out together every weekend, had crushes on the same boys (in one or two cases even dated the same boy), partied together and went to the bathroom together. The four of us would usually hang out with a large group of French people, mainly boys, but some girls as well, and they were all baffled by this little ritual. One of us would get up from the table, and at least one if not all three of us would follow. They wondered what on earth we could be doing in there. Considering we’re talking about boys (and a few girls) in their late teens, early twenites, I’m sure their imagination was having a field day, and they probably should have let their imaginations have the final word on the subject. One day however they decided to send in a spy to find out what was going on. They recruited one of the girls, and when the four of us all went to the bathroom, she tagged along. The disappointment was clearly visible when all she reported back was that we went to the bathroom, talked and waited for eachother, and that was it. No naughty touching, no comparison of body parts or anything else they had been picturing.

The men who never go together of course wonder why we need to or do, and while the truth is never as exciting as fantasy, our bathroom spy actually started tagging along to the bathroom, as usually we shared some laughs if nothing else.

You may have been waiting for something resembling a point around here, but there really isn’t one. I was just reminded of this by someone else’s blog. Maybe next time…

Conversion rate 0%

Today is Sunday, and at least 4 or 5 people have asked me if I attended church today. The answer to that was the same as it is most Sundays: No. That’s always the answer unless I’ve been to a wedding or a baptism or a concert or visited some gorgeous church, mosque, synagogue, temple or chapel for the aesthetic pleasure of it.
One of those people was one of my least favourite type of people: The born again christian who wants to convert me. There are a number of reasons why I can’t stand it when that happens, but at the very top of that list is the fact that I don’t need to be born again or saved or whichever euphemism you want to use. My life is going quite well as it is, thank you.

The problem these people have when they start a conversation with me is that I’m not ignorant as far as the contents of the bible. They assume because I’m not a christian that I have no knowledge of the faith and that couldn’t be further from the truth. While I’m not a theological scholar, I grew up in Norway, which is a protestant country. And I don’t mean that in the sense that there is a majority of protestants, I mean that in the sense that we don’t have a separation between church and state. We have a state church, and I was baptized in that church, had my confirmation there and eventually decided to not be a member of that church anymore.

A lot of people have asked me why I decided to fill in the paperwork and go through the formalities considering it has absolutely no impact on my life whatsoever. First and foremost, I’ve read the bible and the bottom line is, I don’t believe in it. Now, I’m not saying I don’t believe in some kind of higher power, because a lot of the time I do. I just don’t belive in the bible, not in the new testament nor in the old testament. I believe the old testament is a collection of stories that were written down by men hundreds upon hundreds of years after these things supposedly happened, and they have since been interpreted and translated beyond any and all recognition. As far as the new testament goes, I know they have proven the existence of a man called Jesus, but in my opionion he was no more God’s son than any of the rest of us. I consider him sort of the tele-evangelist of the day. I’m not disagreeing with is message of tolerance or love of humanity, I just don’t believe in the immaculate conception or the resurrection or most of the miracles to be honest with you. (Although I won’t deny that a lot of the stories make for interesting reading)

Now the other issue I have with the state church is one of principle. I believe there should be a clear distinction and separation between church and state because they are often at odds with eachother. Furthermore you can not have a state church refusing to obey the laws of that state. One of the things I like about Norway is the fact that the majority of people are tolerant. We have strict legislation against discrimination, and you cannot have a church put itself above those laws. Unfortunately that is the case when it comes to homosexuality. The church has in the past, and not the distant past either, discriminated against gay people with complete disregard for the current laws of the land. To me that is just a big no-no. And on a personal note, one of my closest friends who is gay went to see his priest as a teenager to talk to someone about it. He was confused and didn’t know who to turn to, and he went somewhere he thought he would be listened to, and was told to leave. You could argue that this incident was isolated, and just one priest, but for me, until the church openly starts to respect the law and include the gay community on a level footing with the straight community, they don’t deserve the title of ‘God’s house’.

The god I believe in (on the days that I do) is all-inclusive. He/She or most likely It, doesn’t care if you go to church or not, doesn’t care which doctrine you follow as long as you follow the basic, ethical principals. In my opinon, that god wouldn’t even care whether you believed in God or not as long as you’re a good person, live your life to the best of your ability and try to make right your wrongs. I don’t believe in hell, I don’t really believe in heaven I think. On some days I think reincarnation is the most likely option, and on most days I imagine there really isn’t anything once we’re gone. I suppose it’s the agnostic in me. I have doubts, and I consider those doubts regularly.

To the born again christian however, my belief isn’t good enough. They worry that I’ll burn in hell, and I should hurry up and get saved so that won’t happen. They say I should ‘fear death as there will be no rest for me in the everafter’ (and yes, that’s pretty much a direct quote from an earlier conversation) I respect everybody’s belief. I will listen to your opinions and arguments, I will state mine calmly and without belittling your faith. Now, is it so much to ask that other people respect my faith/belief? Or in their opinion, lack thereof?

There are certain ethical, human rules that I think we should all try to live by. We should respect eachother and ourselves, do no harm (although we all know it’s impossible to do none at all), and if you think about it, that is pretty much it.

I’m not going to get into all the atrocities committed in the name of religion, though they are numerous and horrendous. Nor will I debate the blatant hypocrisy of many people who are self-proclaimed people of God. That would be a whole other blog. I just wish people would stop trying to convert me.